Conversations with Pearce

1. Eric and Pearce, who is not even in school yet, looking at little leagues on the Internet.

Eric, "You get to play baseball games, got to practice, have a uniform, and a hat."
Pearce, "And I don't have to do my homework."

2. Pearce, "Why did Braden and Camiron move to another planet? Why can't they stay on our planet?"

3. Pearce announces at dinner, "My peanuts are down now, so I can talk low!"

4. Pearce showing his Dad his math test.

Pearce, "Dad, I got an A+ on my math test today!'
Eric, "A+, no way. Who helped you?"
Pearce, "No one. I helped myself."

5. At the dinner table. Pearce says to his Dad, "You and me are just two guys who are fake funny. But Mom is real funny."

6. After watching the scene in Star Wars when Luke asks Leia if she remembers her mother. Leia replies, "I remember very little," and then Luke continues, that he didn't remember anything. Pearce blurts out at the TV, "Well duh, you mom died while giving birth."

7. Driving in the car, Eric says, "let's count to 50."
Pearce, with a sigh, "I can't. I am having a number nap."

8. At dinner.
Pearce, alarmed, says: "Hey, who put Hulk sauce on my salmon?"
Eric says, "Your Mom, and its just a pesto sauce."
Pearce thinks for a minute, "So it's safe to eat?"

9. Pearce has recently started a bad habit. He's in bed by 9, but stays up, reading books, playing guys, and watching DVDs on his portable DVD player. At around 10 or even 10:30, he'll come out of his room and tell us:

"It's weird because my tummy is so hungry. I'm not. But my tummy is."

He'll even talk about how he tries, but fails, to reason with his tummy that it is too late to eat. The problem is, thought, he really is hungry because he eats so little at dinner. He'll typically sit at the table for hours, transforming his utensils into heat seeking missiles, or pretending his fingers are the enemies, fighting to the death. It's hard to discourage a budding imagination like that, so we normally just let him play in his own world, occasionally reminding him to eat. He outlasts us most of the time, and we end up clearing a half-full plate, which just perpetuates his habit.

But a few weeks ago we decided to get serious, because by 10:30, we want to be asleep. Not making a meal. So we gave him the old: "You eat what's on your plate or go to bed hungry. No or buts about it!"

This worked for a few weeks, but even when he ate all his food, he was still hungry by 10: 30. And we still wanted to be asleep. so a friendly battle ensued.

A few nights ago, 10:30 rolled around, and our bedroom door opened up. Pearce waltzed in, avoiding eye contact and suppressing a smile. We knew what was coming, and he knew that we knew. He stood there silently for a while, obviously adjusting his strategy in his head. Suddenly he starts rubbing his tummy in a circular motion:

"When I do this it means I'm hungry. But I'm not hungry right now. That's just for down the road." With that he turned and sprinted back to bed. Five minutes later he returned ...rubbing his tummy.

10. The other night I was rocking Emry to sleep and Pearce came into her room and started to give us a "Ninja Show." Fists were flying, breaking the sound barrier, legs were slashing villains in half. And the show was also accompanied by an increasingly detailed account of his life as a Ninja. Basically, he'd been hardened by a life of struggle, but he'd decided to devote his life to protecting the innocent anyway. His only void was a romantic interest. This revelation was followed by the ensuing conversation with me, who he'd cast into the role of damsel in distress:

Pearce, "Do you have a boyfriend?"
Wendi, "No." {the answer I was told to give}
Pearce, "Do you have a husband?"
Wendi, "No" {the answer I was told to give}
Pearce, "Do you want one?"
Wendi, "Yes." {the answer I guessed}
Pearce, "OK. I can be your boyfriend and your husband. Do you have a family?"
Wendi, "Family, no."
Pearce, "How were you born?"
Wendi, "My family lives far away."
Pearce, "So you're alone."
Wendi, "Yes."
Pearce, "You have bad parents, don't you?"
Wendi, "Yes." {the answer I was told to give}
Pearce, "I'll take care of it for you."

Then Pearce left the room. I heard a lot of thrashing, jumping, rolling, and kill yells. Then he ambled back in the room.

Pearce, "Don't worry anymore. I took care of those bad parents. That's what a good boyfriend does."

11. This is pretty much Pearce's motto to life. No idea where he got it, but he says it at least 5 times a day. Pearce, "Mom, the movies are the games and the games are the movies."

12. Pearce's negotiation style.
Pearce comes downstairs in his underwear just before bedtime and says, "Mom, I am really cold."
Wendi, "Put on some pj's."
Pearce, "Mom I am really cold."
Wendi, "Put on some pjs and I will turn down the air conditioning."
Pearce, "Mom I am really really cold."
Wendi, "Do you feel sick?"
Pearce, " No, but I would like some hot chocolate."

13. Eric to the babysitter: "so we will be back around 10 or 10:30."
Pearce, "10:30 is better, Dad."

14. Pearce has been into magic lately.

Pearce, "look Mom, I'm magic."
Wendi, " No Pearce it's an illusion." {for all you Arrested Development fans!}

More magic.

And more magic. Pearce's tricks are endless. If you are wonder what his trick is... he can hold a coin in his ear.